How would your life look different if there were do-overs? I think it's easy to say we wouldn't do anything differently if given the chance, but is that really true? Maybe in the big picture it's true, but I've been struggling with these thoughts a lot lately. The truth for me is that I would do quite a few things drastically different.
On my third week home with the kids (or maybe the fourth? Shoot - I don't even know what day it is today to be honest!) I came to a startling realization: I had missed the very best part of my kids for four years. Not that the best part of them was gone, but that in our busyness of life, we got the leftovers. We only saw them at the worst, orneriest, most tired moments... and let me tell you- that's not pretty!
It happened one day while Cam was playing with his trains and out of nowhere, stopped what he was doing just to run over and give me the biggest hug and kiss. And then go right back to trains. That was immediately followed by Claire making some sweet comment expressing that she loved me too and was glad we could play today. And those two things were immediately followed by the Niagara of all crying sessions.
Our kids aren't total monsters! They're actually awesome little humans! How much of this goodness had I missed while lecturing about how we were late, and there wasn't time for playing, and mom has a meeting tonight, and we have to get dinner ready so we can get to bed and do it all again. And again. And again. Man, I missed so many hugs, so many chances to kiss ouchies, so many opportunities to ask questions just to get funny answers.
Now I get to treasure it. I keep a mental list all day of things that J would like to know, things that would make him laugh if he were next to me. Because, I'll be honest, sometimes by 5:30 they've converted back to something very monster-like some days and I'm not sure he'll believe me.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Finding Balance
For some silly reason, I thought that me being a SAHM would allow more time for this blogging thing... obviously I was wrong! :)
What an incredible blessing the last few weeks have been! Every night I go to (read: collapse into) bed with a full heart, reflecting on the many hugs and smiles and tears of the day. It truly is the greatest gift to be with these little beasts every day. I've been praying that I will not lose that thankful heart or take this time for granted.
My favorite question has been, "What do you do with all of your time now!?" This is either asked very seriously or followed by a smirk/wink (by those who have been there).
I've been battling guilt as I go through each day. I came home with a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and certain things that I wanted done each day before J walked through the door. My #1 priority each day is to invest in my babies. If that means we have a popcorn date on the floor instead of yet another date with the dishwasher, so be it. If that means we spend time at the playground instead of time organizing the closet, so be it.
Life is so much about balance, and we're working on finding that new balance here too.
What an incredible blessing the last few weeks have been! Every night I go to (read: collapse into) bed with a full heart, reflecting on the many hugs and smiles and tears of the day. It truly is the greatest gift to be with these little beasts every day. I've been praying that I will not lose that thankful heart or take this time for granted.
My favorite question has been, "What do you do with all of your time now!?" This is either asked very seriously or followed by a smirk/wink (by those who have been there).
I've been battling guilt as I go through each day. I came home with a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and certain things that I wanted done each day before J walked through the door. My #1 priority each day is to invest in my babies. If that means we have a popcorn date on the floor instead of yet another date with the dishwasher, so be it. If that means we spend time at the playground instead of time organizing the closet, so be it.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Last Hoorah!
Growing up, I remember Labor Day being really special. We would always be at our cabin in the U.P., soaking up every last minute of Summer before school started. Life was going to change soon and so we were going to make the most of it!
That cabin is now my grandparents' home and I still love to be there and re-experience it all with my own family now. I desperately want that place to be a special part of their life and memories too. When our plans to be there this Labor Day fell apart, I was selfishly upset. Now what were we going to do all weekend?
I still felt that weird pressure to make the weekend special- not because school was starting, but our life is indeed drastically changing soon. We are fully prepared to not be able to do special things on a whim soon, so we wanted to have one last hoorah together...which we also desperately needed!
So, we decided that since all the city folk are headed to campgrounds and cabins, that we would trade places and be touristy instead. Grand Rapids it was then, complete with Chuck E. Cheese, waterpark fun, and a trip to the zoo!
In the hotel room that night, Bear was so excited she couldn't even think about sleep. She kept popping up from her pull-out couch bed and saying things like, "Mom, I love you...I'm just thinking about our fun!" When Cam finally fell asleep she leaned over and asked if she could come snuggle and talk about our day now that he was sleeping. As she recounted ever detail back to me, I was reminded that memories are made everywhere, all the time. They dont have to be what and how I plan, and they dont have to be the same as mine to be just as special.
That cabin is now my grandparents' home and I still love to be there and re-experience it all with my own family now. I desperately want that place to be a special part of their life and memories too. When our plans to be there this Labor Day fell apart, I was selfishly upset. Now what were we going to do all weekend?
I still felt that weird pressure to make the weekend special- not because school was starting, but our life is indeed drastically changing soon. We are fully prepared to not be able to do special things on a whim soon, so we wanted to have one last hoorah together...which we also desperately needed!
So, we decided that since all the city folk are headed to campgrounds and cabins, that we would trade places and be touristy instead. Grand Rapids it was then, complete with Chuck E. Cheese, waterpark fun, and a trip to the zoo!
Cam was terrified of this Jeep, but refused to get off of it.
Lots of fun at our favorite hotel.
Up close and personal at John Ball Zoo.
In the hotel room that night, Bear was so excited she couldn't even think about sleep. She kept popping up from her pull-out couch bed and saying things like, "Mom, I love you...I'm just thinking about our fun!" When Cam finally fell asleep she leaned over and asked if she could come snuggle and talk about our day now that he was sleeping. As she recounted ever detail back to me, I was reminded that memories are made everywhere, all the time. They dont have to be what and how I plan, and they dont have to be the same as mine to be just as special.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Make Like Jonah...
My husband and I recently made the decision that I should be a stay at home mom.
I dreaded the acronym SAHM, it makes me cringe a bit even now to type it. Ok, so that might be a little harsh, but it's true. It was never my heart's desire to stay at home. I should preface that by saying that I have nothing but undying admiration for the parents that I see doing the stay-at-home parenting (there are dads too!) thing so beautifully. I think that I never wanted to do it because I thought I wouldn't be good enough at it.
I'm not so disillusioned to believe that it's all picnics, parks, and play-do! I know that it's hard and takes incredible sacrifice. I know that there will probably be days when they make me cry before breakfast is even served, when they greet dad at the door with love and excitement after being rotten to me all day, and when I lock myself in the bathroom just to talk myself back to sanity. I didn't think I was up for that.
That's why I was so very suprised when both my head and heart started tugging me home. I knew that (once again!) God was calling me to a place I never wanted to go. Part of me still wants to make like Jonah... but most of me is so excited and anticipating how I can invest even more into my babies' lives.
I started this blog to document our journey and to give me an outlet. As difficult as the journey gets, I want to remind myself that we are called to love and serve.
I dreaded the acronym SAHM, it makes me cringe a bit even now to type it. Ok, so that might be a little harsh, but it's true. It was never my heart's desire to stay at home. I should preface that by saying that I have nothing but undying admiration for the parents that I see doing the stay-at-home parenting (there are dads too!) thing so beautifully. I think that I never wanted to do it because I thought I wouldn't be good enough at it.
I'm not so disillusioned to believe that it's all picnics, parks, and play-do! I know that it's hard and takes incredible sacrifice. I know that there will probably be days when they make me cry before breakfast is even served, when they greet dad at the door with love and excitement after being rotten to me all day, and when I lock myself in the bathroom just to talk myself back to sanity. I didn't think I was up for that.
That's why I was so very suprised when both my head and heart started tugging me home. I knew that (once again!) God was calling me to a place I never wanted to go. Part of me still wants to make like Jonah... but most of me is so excited and anticipating how I can invest even more into my babies' lives.
I started this blog to document our journey and to give me an outlet. As difficult as the journey gets, I want to remind myself that we are called to love and serve.
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