No, I did not schedule this post to go in the middle of the night - I'm really blogging at 1:30am. I feel a bit weird even writing that because let me tell you...I LOVE TO SLEEP! Nothing gets in my way when it comes to my perfect pile of pregnancy pillows. Unless I dont feel well or I cant turn my brain off.
This Christmas night it's both: full brain, full belly (too many meatballs!)
Since I couldn't sleep, I was reflecting on what a beautiful Christmas season it's been and what a great day today was. My heart went so far as to say "Perfect." Then that little voice reminded me that no, it was definitely not perfect. For starters, I ate too much.
Then the beast inside of me sprang to life and my brain got thinking about babies. Ohhhhh those sweet, perfect little newborns that just sleep all day. Siiiiiiiigh - it was only two years ago at Christmas that I had one and in another four months we get to meet this next perfect little creation. I did it again (we humans are slow learners). Perfect. That gentle knock on my heart reminded me again that I was so wrong. Those little lives are born into sin- not just a world that's sinful, but they themselves are sinners. Nowhere near truly perfect.
"Jesus, thank you for your perfection. For entering this dark and fallen world to be my Redeemer. For giving me the only gift that matters in the end. For loving my ugly, selfish heart in a way that I simply don't understand. Thank you for being truly my ONLY example of perfection this side of Heaven."
Merry Christmas readers! My wish for you is that you are celebrating The King today. It's so easy to make it about family, gifts, food, and whatever else comes along for us (not that they aren't good things), but the things of this world eventually disappoint. Perfection does not disappoint.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Just Like Mom's
Around my house, if something you make is deemed "just like Mom's", it's quite the compliment. Maybe at your house it's more of an insult? Kidding of course!
I've been on a quest to duplicate my mom's perfect cookies for years. Not once has that quest been successful, so I've taken a bit of a break...maybe forever. The thing with my mom, though, is that she doesn't keep recipes (this shouldn't really surprise you if you know her.) I've tried many times to encourage this to happen...I've taken a break from that, too.
It seems minor, but I'll never forget when my little sister was over for dinner one night and tried my chicken noodle soup. "Hey- this is just like Mom's!" SUCCESS! There are lots of ways to make chicken noodle soup, but I've never tasted one I liked better than Mom's. Now it was mine, too.
Last week we had 16 people over to our house for dinner. A big pot of chili and a big pot of chicken noodle was on the menu for the evening. When people compliment the soup, I don't have to confess that it's my mom's recipe because technically it isn't. I thought about sharing it with you all, but that'd just be too easy. I do intend to share some other family favorites with you though.
Someday I hope that my kids will experience the joy and success of completing a recipe and recognizing it as being "just like Mom's"... and have that be a good thing, hopefully!
I've been on a quest to duplicate my mom's perfect cookies for years. Not once has that quest been successful, so I've taken a bit of a break...maybe forever. The thing with my mom, though, is that she doesn't keep recipes (this shouldn't really surprise you if you know her.) I've tried many times to encourage this to happen...I've taken a break from that, too.
It seems minor, but I'll never forget when my little sister was over for dinner one night and tried my chicken noodle soup. "Hey- this is just like Mom's!" SUCCESS! There are lots of ways to make chicken noodle soup, but I've never tasted one I liked better than Mom's. Now it was mine, too.
Last week we had 16 people over to our house for dinner. A big pot of chili and a big pot of chicken noodle was on the menu for the evening. When people compliment the soup, I don't have to confess that it's my mom's recipe because technically it isn't. I thought about sharing it with you all, but that'd just be too easy. I do intend to share some other family favorites with you though.
Someday I hope that my kids will experience the joy and success of completing a recipe and recognizing it as being "just like Mom's"... and have that be a good thing, hopefully!
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Lost Days
How would your life look different if there were do-overs? I think it's easy to say we wouldn't do anything differently if given the chance, but is that really true? Maybe in the big picture it's true, but I've been struggling with these thoughts a lot lately. The truth for me is that I would do quite a few things drastically different.
On my third week home with the kids (or maybe the fourth? Shoot - I don't even know what day it is today to be honest!) I came to a startling realization: I had missed the very best part of my kids for four years. Not that the best part of them was gone, but that in our busyness of life, we got the leftovers. We only saw them at the worst, orneriest, most tired moments... and let me tell you- that's not pretty!
It happened one day while Cam was playing with his trains and out of nowhere, stopped what he was doing just to run over and give me the biggest hug and kiss. And then go right back to trains. That was immediately followed by Claire making some sweet comment expressing that she loved me too and was glad we could play today. And those two things were immediately followed by the Niagara of all crying sessions.
Our kids aren't total monsters! They're actually awesome little humans! How much of this goodness had I missed while lecturing about how we were late, and there wasn't time for playing, and mom has a meeting tonight, and we have to get dinner ready so we can get to bed and do it all again. And again. And again. Man, I missed so many hugs, so many chances to kiss ouchies, so many opportunities to ask questions just to get funny answers.
Now I get to treasure it. I keep a mental list all day of things that J would like to know, things that would make him laugh if he were next to me. Because, I'll be honest, sometimes by 5:30 they've converted back to something very monster-like some days and I'm not sure he'll believe me.
On my third week home with the kids (or maybe the fourth? Shoot - I don't even know what day it is today to be honest!) I came to a startling realization: I had missed the very best part of my kids for four years. Not that the best part of them was gone, but that in our busyness of life, we got the leftovers. We only saw them at the worst, orneriest, most tired moments... and let me tell you- that's not pretty!
It happened one day while Cam was playing with his trains and out of nowhere, stopped what he was doing just to run over and give me the biggest hug and kiss. And then go right back to trains. That was immediately followed by Claire making some sweet comment expressing that she loved me too and was glad we could play today. And those two things were immediately followed by the Niagara of all crying sessions.
Our kids aren't total monsters! They're actually awesome little humans! How much of this goodness had I missed while lecturing about how we were late, and there wasn't time for playing, and mom has a meeting tonight, and we have to get dinner ready so we can get to bed and do it all again. And again. And again. Man, I missed so many hugs, so many chances to kiss ouchies, so many opportunities to ask questions just to get funny answers.
Now I get to treasure it. I keep a mental list all day of things that J would like to know, things that would make him laugh if he were next to me. Because, I'll be honest, sometimes by 5:30 they've converted back to something very monster-like some days and I'm not sure he'll believe me.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Unplanned Gifts...
I'm not a perfectionist, but I am most definitely a planner! I try not to let that make me rigid and unflexible, but to not be prepared just makes my heart want to explode with anxiety. So you better believe that I had a plan for this stay at home thing we were going to try.
And then sometimes God steps in to remind us of that whole "His ways are not our ways" business and puts us in our place. Well, He did it again...
VERY shortly after submitting my resignation, our family was blessed with the gift of life! While I was knitting together another plan, He was knitting together a life inside of me. We chose a long time ago to trust God's timing with our children, so it wasn't a complete suprise...but it wasn't exactly MY plan. Once I got over my self-centered plan, though, BOY WAS I EXCITED (everyone else was right away)!
So, in a blessing that I can hardly put words to, on my very first day home with our children we got to all go meet our third incredible gift together! We're excited to have you meet this incredible treasure in April!
And then sometimes God steps in to remind us of that whole "His ways are not our ways" business and puts us in our place. Well, He did it again...
VERY shortly after submitting my resignation, our family was blessed with the gift of life! While I was knitting together another plan, He was knitting together a life inside of me. We chose a long time ago to trust God's timing with our children, so it wasn't a complete suprise...but it wasn't exactly MY plan. Once I got over my self-centered plan, though, BOY WAS I EXCITED (everyone else was right away)!
So, in a blessing that I can hardly put words to, on my very first day home with our children we got to all go meet our third incredible gift together! We're excited to have you meet this incredible treasure in April!
Finding Balance
For some silly reason, I thought that me being a SAHM would allow more time for this blogging thing... obviously I was wrong! :)
What an incredible blessing the last few weeks have been! Every night I go to (read: collapse into) bed with a full heart, reflecting on the many hugs and smiles and tears of the day. It truly is the greatest gift to be with these little beasts every day. I've been praying that I will not lose that thankful heart or take this time for granted.
My favorite question has been, "What do you do with all of your time now!?" This is either asked very seriously or followed by a smirk/wink (by those who have been there).
I've been battling guilt as I go through each day. I came home with a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and certain things that I wanted done each day before J walked through the door. My #1 priority each day is to invest in my babies. If that means we have a popcorn date on the floor instead of yet another date with the dishwasher, so be it. If that means we spend time at the playground instead of time organizing the closet, so be it.
Life is so much about balance, and we're working on finding that new balance here too.
What an incredible blessing the last few weeks have been! Every night I go to (read: collapse into) bed with a full heart, reflecting on the many hugs and smiles and tears of the day. It truly is the greatest gift to be with these little beasts every day. I've been praying that I will not lose that thankful heart or take this time for granted.
My favorite question has been, "What do you do with all of your time now!?" This is either asked very seriously or followed by a smirk/wink (by those who have been there).
I've been battling guilt as I go through each day. I came home with a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and certain things that I wanted done each day before J walked through the door. My #1 priority each day is to invest in my babies. If that means we have a popcorn date on the floor instead of yet another date with the dishwasher, so be it. If that means we spend time at the playground instead of time organizing the closet, so be it.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Last Hoorah!
Growing up, I remember Labor Day being really special. We would always be at our cabin in the U.P., soaking up every last minute of Summer before school started. Life was going to change soon and so we were going to make the most of it!
That cabin is now my grandparents' home and I still love to be there and re-experience it all with my own family now. I desperately want that place to be a special part of their life and memories too. When our plans to be there this Labor Day fell apart, I was selfishly upset. Now what were we going to do all weekend?
I still felt that weird pressure to make the weekend special- not because school was starting, but our life is indeed drastically changing soon. We are fully prepared to not be able to do special things on a whim soon, so we wanted to have one last hoorah together...which we also desperately needed!
So, we decided that since all the city folk are headed to campgrounds and cabins, that we would trade places and be touristy instead. Grand Rapids it was then, complete with Chuck E. Cheese, waterpark fun, and a trip to the zoo!
In the hotel room that night, Bear was so excited she couldn't even think about sleep. She kept popping up from her pull-out couch bed and saying things like, "Mom, I love you...I'm just thinking about our fun!" When Cam finally fell asleep she leaned over and asked if she could come snuggle and talk about our day now that he was sleeping. As she recounted ever detail back to me, I was reminded that memories are made everywhere, all the time. They dont have to be what and how I plan, and they dont have to be the same as mine to be just as special.
That cabin is now my grandparents' home and I still love to be there and re-experience it all with my own family now. I desperately want that place to be a special part of their life and memories too. When our plans to be there this Labor Day fell apart, I was selfishly upset. Now what were we going to do all weekend?
I still felt that weird pressure to make the weekend special- not because school was starting, but our life is indeed drastically changing soon. We are fully prepared to not be able to do special things on a whim soon, so we wanted to have one last hoorah together...which we also desperately needed!
So, we decided that since all the city folk are headed to campgrounds and cabins, that we would trade places and be touristy instead. Grand Rapids it was then, complete with Chuck E. Cheese, waterpark fun, and a trip to the zoo!
Cam was terrified of this Jeep, but refused to get off of it.
Lots of fun at our favorite hotel.
Up close and personal at John Ball Zoo.
In the hotel room that night, Bear was so excited she couldn't even think about sleep. She kept popping up from her pull-out couch bed and saying things like, "Mom, I love you...I'm just thinking about our fun!" When Cam finally fell asleep she leaned over and asked if she could come snuggle and talk about our day now that he was sleeping. As she recounted ever detail back to me, I was reminded that memories are made everywhere, all the time. They dont have to be what and how I plan, and they dont have to be the same as mine to be just as special.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Church Picnic/Carnival
One of the main places that I "serve with love" is church. J and I realized early on that investing ourselves deeply in the church and other believers was important to our own spiritual walk and growth. There are many times that I think we're too far in and need to pull back a bit, but we both are "workers" - we don't want to sit on the sidelines.
When a fellowship committee was formed, I jumped at the chance to be part of it! I love planning events and also have wanted to see more family (all age) friendly activities offered at our church. A few weeks ago, we helped with some aspects of our annual church picnic. We gave it a carnival theme and had a great day of fellowship together. I wish I had taken some better pictures, but I wasn't exactly in the blogging mindset at that point.
We tried to stick tight to the red/white carnival theme. There were penants hanging in the tents for decoration and also carnival striped table skirts on all of the game/activity tables. Speaking of games and activities, we had a variety available with different prizes at each: face painting, colored sand art necklaces, a photo booth with fun props, sawdust scramble, beanbag toss, water gun challenge, and ladder ball. Phew! I would now like to have a moment of silence in honor of Oriental Trading. Seriously y'all...how did we live before this?!
This was my favorite fun thing (thanks for the idea, Pinterest!) To make this vendor box, I simply covered one [of the MANY!] diaper boxes I have with a red vinyl table cloth and secured it on the inside. I spraypainted the picture areas of the box first so that there wouldn't be a chance of naked babies showing through when the sunlight hit it. I then secured some red & white polka dot ribbons to the box, using the handles already cut out. My Cricut came in handy for cutting out the letters and swirly jobby. Stuff that baby full of cotton candy (also from Oriental Trading) and the kids loved it!
When a fellowship committee was formed, I jumped at the chance to be part of it! I love planning events and also have wanted to see more family (all age) friendly activities offered at our church. A few weeks ago, we helped with some aspects of our annual church picnic. We gave it a carnival theme and had a great day of fellowship together. I wish I had taken some better pictures, but I wasn't exactly in the blogging mindset at that point.
We tried to stick tight to the red/white carnival theme. There were penants hanging in the tents for decoration and also carnival striped table skirts on all of the game/activity tables. Speaking of games and activities, we had a variety available with different prizes at each: face painting, colored sand art necklaces, a photo booth with fun props, sawdust scramble, beanbag toss, water gun challenge, and ladder ball. Phew! I would now like to have a moment of silence in honor of Oriental Trading. Seriously y'all...how did we live before this?!
This was my favorite fun thing (thanks for the idea, Pinterest!) To make this vendor box, I simply covered one [of the MANY!] diaper boxes I have with a red vinyl table cloth and secured it on the inside. I spraypainted the picture areas of the box first so that there wouldn't be a chance of naked babies showing through when the sunlight hit it. I then secured some red & white polka dot ribbons to the box, using the handles already cut out. My Cricut came in handy for cutting out the letters and swirly jobby. Stuff that baby full of cotton candy (also from Oriental Trading) and the kids loved it!
That night, Bear fell into bed, eyes half-closed and exclaimed, "Mumma- dat was a good party!" From a 3-year-old mouth...that is what I will claim as a success! :)
Make Like Jonah...
My husband and I recently made the decision that I should be a stay at home mom.
I dreaded the acronym SAHM, it makes me cringe a bit even now to type it. Ok, so that might be a little harsh, but it's true. It was never my heart's desire to stay at home. I should preface that by saying that I have nothing but undying admiration for the parents that I see doing the stay-at-home parenting (there are dads too!) thing so beautifully. I think that I never wanted to do it because I thought I wouldn't be good enough at it.
I'm not so disillusioned to believe that it's all picnics, parks, and play-do! I know that it's hard and takes incredible sacrifice. I know that there will probably be days when they make me cry before breakfast is even served, when they greet dad at the door with love and excitement after being rotten to me all day, and when I lock myself in the bathroom just to talk myself back to sanity. I didn't think I was up for that.
That's why I was so very suprised when both my head and heart started tugging me home. I knew that (once again!) God was calling me to a place I never wanted to go. Part of me still wants to make like Jonah... but most of me is so excited and anticipating how I can invest even more into my babies' lives.
I started this blog to document our journey and to give me an outlet. As difficult as the journey gets, I want to remind myself that we are called to love and serve.
I dreaded the acronym SAHM, it makes me cringe a bit even now to type it. Ok, so that might be a little harsh, but it's true. It was never my heart's desire to stay at home. I should preface that by saying that I have nothing but undying admiration for the parents that I see doing the stay-at-home parenting (there are dads too!) thing so beautifully. I think that I never wanted to do it because I thought I wouldn't be good enough at it.
I'm not so disillusioned to believe that it's all picnics, parks, and play-do! I know that it's hard and takes incredible sacrifice. I know that there will probably be days when they make me cry before breakfast is even served, when they greet dad at the door with love and excitement after being rotten to me all day, and when I lock myself in the bathroom just to talk myself back to sanity. I didn't think I was up for that.
That's why I was so very suprised when both my head and heart started tugging me home. I knew that (once again!) God was calling me to a place I never wanted to go. Part of me still wants to make like Jonah... but most of me is so excited and anticipating how I can invest even more into my babies' lives.
I started this blog to document our journey and to give me an outlet. As difficult as the journey gets, I want to remind myself that we are called to love and serve.
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